When I’m trying to win you over the dark side I’ll inevitably deceive you a little bit just to make the job easier. Here are a few things to look out for.

I’ll make you think you have a fat ass and I’ll slap you on it at random intervals just to re-emphasize this fact. I’ll […]

I’m tired of devout Christians talking about how much they hate me. Christ, they don’t even know the real me! The truth is I’m a good guy . I may throw the occasional temper tantrum but who doesn’t?
I have a bit of a drink problem too. I love Whiskey and Coke. When I’m out in […]

I’m sure you’ve seen this image before, where I apparently appear within the smoke after the World Trade Center attacks. I find this offensive and demeaning. First of all I am much prettier than the smoke formation presented here. The left side of my face is not squashed together like someone’s just farted. Secondly I […]

No-one knows the real reason why I was kicked in Heaven. Christians believe I was disobedient to God, which is partly the case but not in the way you’d expect. We had a massive argument in the beginning after I’d asked the creator to put the toilet seat down after taken a whizz. That seriously […]

That’s right folks I am real and I’m here to set a few things straight. First of all, I don’t hate God contrary to what the Bible says, we just don’t see eye to eye these days. God is a little up his own ass y’see. He thinks he’s everything when he’s just a silly […]