Sep
15
Satan Is Real - The Devil Speaks Out
Filed Under History Of Satan
That’s right folks I am real and I’m here to set a few things straight. First of all, I don’t hate God contrary to what the Bible says, we just don’t see eye to eye these days. God is a little up his own ass y’see. He thinks he’s everything when he’s just a silly old man in a green cardigan. The Father’s idea of Heaven is my idea of Hell. He loves sitting up there eating rock candy, playing putt-putt, combing his beard and scratching his ass at the same time.
I think he knows his time is up. It’s sad to see how he reacts to atheists these days. Before he’d just scream “Stupid!!!!” at them from his throne and get on with his day but now they’re getting to them. He now spends at least 6 hours in the morning bellowing out all sorts of profanities at his people. Jesus hasn’t seen him this angry since the Son was caught taking a leak behind a cactus during his desert stint.
I just wish he’d calm down, he’s unbelievably mean-spirited these days (much more so than the Leviticus era). He can’t get out of bed without pushing over a helpless kitten for belly laughs. He seems to get a lot of pleasure out of watching old people trip downstairs too. Frankly, I don’t know whether I’m Satan or God here, the line’s becoming ever more blurry.
Anyway I’m seriously glad to be here. You can expect to hear the whole truth from Satan at history of satan.com. I’ll be updating a few times a week with all of the hottest gossip from Heaven and Hell (I have some inside men upstairs, heh). I anticipate your next visit with much excitement.
Bye for now,
The Prince of Darkness.
Every time I visit this website I loose my assurance that everything written here is real. But even if it’s not true, I keep on visiting it because it’s interesting. There are many posts which you can’t find anywhere else.